Tonight You Sleep In Hell Series
by Noname
Summary: My first story, the one that made me infamous.
1. Attack of the Fanfic Authors

EPISODE I 

EPISODE I 

(Star wars title music plays) 

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (but actually down the road from Moe's barbecue shack)… 

Tobias: My name is Tobias... 

Marco: Hey, why does everything start with my name, his name, your name and... 

Tobias: I don't know, ask K.A. 

K.A: Don't disturb me, I'm drafting Everworld #4. 

Marco: Hey, since when did Everworld become more important than us? 

K.A: Ever since I started writing about them. So I'll recommend you a... 

Marco: Arrgggh!!! No!!! Not another Fanfic writer!!! 

Tobias: The last one who wrote about us had me boiled in a vat of.... 

K.A: Nuclear Bat Bile. I know. Loosen up man, he's new. 

Marco: Those are the ones I fear the most. Newbies. 

Tobias: Wait a minute. Why are we the only ones in this story? 

Suddenly Jake, Rachel, Cassie and Ax fall through a plot hole in the roof. 

Rachel: OOOWWWWW!!!!!! 

Cassie: OOOOOOF!!!!!! 

Ax: AGGGRRHHH!!! SON OF A- 

Jake: OWWWWEEEEE!!! I BROKE A FINGERNAIL!!! 

Marco: Gee, Jake, maybe if you continue screaming like that, you could scare off the new fanfic writer. 

Jake: NOOOOOO!!! THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!! 

Tobias: Well, duh. 

Rachel: Is it that one who made me morph into elephant and stomp Visser 3 into a blue pancake? I loved that one. 

Visser 3: I didn't. 

K.A: Enough said. The new writer is.... Drum roll please… NONAME!! 

Noname: Hello Animorphs. Tonight you sleep in hell. 

Animorphs: Aaahhhhhh!!!! 

Ax: I am not an Animorph so I am not required to sleep in hell. 

Noname: Oh yeah? We'll see about that…

The Animorphs and Ax are transported to hell- or in their case, The Yeerk Pool. 

Visser 3: Ah ha! Let's see who stomps who now! 

The Visser morphs into an elephant and starts to stomp Rachel. 

Tobias: Rachel!!! Get us out of here Noname! 

Noname: Could to if I wanted. 

Jake: Then do it! 

Cassie: WTF? Visser 3 does not have an elephant morph!! 

Noname: I know... 

Visser 3: Ha Ha!!! Prepare to face extinction Animorphs!!! 

Marco: You know, I think you have B.O.

Are the Animorphs doomed? Find out in the next episode! 

Note: I ain't putting up the next episode until I get at least one review!


	2. The Revenge of Xena

EPISODE I 

EPISODE II 

The Animorphs are just about to be stomped when Rachel is suddenly possessed by the spirit of Xena, the Warrior Princess. 

Rachel: PUNY YEERK! YOU DARE STOMP THE MIGHTY XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS????!!! PREPARE TO FACE ETERNAL DAMNATION! 

Visser 3: Un-oh. 

Rachel chases Visser 3 out of the Yeerk pool while the rest escape through a plot hole Ax had cut with his tail. 

Noname: Aw crap. 

Jake: That was close. 

Marco: Dude, that was INSANE. Let's never EVER do that again. 

Suddenly Rachel, clad in leather and swinging a massive sword, enters the barn. 

Rachel: SAVOUR YOUR LAST SENSE OF HUMANITY!!! FOR WHEN I WRAP THIS SWORD AROUND YOUR GUMS YOU WON'T BE HUMAN FOR MUCH LONGER!!! 

Noname: Ha. Revenge is a dish best served hot. Especially if served by Xena. 

Rachel chases the others around the barn. 

Marco: No offense Rachel, but you are INSANE!! 

Rachel/Xena: SHUT UP JOXER!!! YOU ARE DEAD MEAT!!! 

Cassie: I really agree with Marco this time, Rachel. 

Rachel/Xena: YOU TOO GABRIELLE!!!!! 

Marco: Great. All we need now are a bunch of Amazons and a few sword-swinging Roman jocks. 

Tobias flies out of the barn. 

Jake: Hey, wait for us, you coward!!! 

Ax: I am not an Animorph! 

Suddenly Rachel crashes head first into a pillar and is knocked out cold. 

Jake: Phew. That was even closer. 

Can the Animorphs- 

Ax: I am NOT a MOTHER-F***ING ANIMORPH!!! 

Okay, can the Animorphs and Ax cure Rachel's Xena fever? Find out in the next episode!!! 

Note: I have received an e-mail which threatened me with "serious bodily harm" if I didn't stop writing this series. The FBI has been notified, and are sending over two snipers disguised as yucca plants.


	3. The Last Crusade

EPISODE I 

EPISODE III 

Rachel/Xena wakes up to find that she is bound and gagged-in chains. 

Jake: Marco, could you find something STRONGER than that? 

Marco: Hey, that was the strongest find around - gakk! 

Rachel/Xena breaks her bonds attempts to break Marco's neck. 

Rachel/Xena: I'LL KILL YOU JOXER!!! 

Jake: AX! WE NEED SOME HELP HERE!! 

Tobias, now in human morph, tackles Rachel/Xena while Ax tries to knock her out but by that time she had already broken Marco's neck. 

Marco: Gakk, gakk, acck!!! 

Jake: Somebody call 911!!! 

Noname: Tough luck, bloke. I didn't include hospitals in this episode. 

Cassie: You heartless son of a b*tch! 

Noname: Ooooh, temper temper. 

Suddenly the Animorphs- 

Ax: Don't make me start again, bastard. 

Okay, the Animorphs and Ax find themselves in the Amazon Jungle with the famed archeologist, the big man himself, INDIANA JONES. 

Indy: What the- 

Noname: INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF B'NIA B'RITH!!! 

After the ritual explanation to Indy.... 

Indy: So you kids are fightin' this race of brain-stealin' aliens? Amazin'! 

Jake: Yeah, and we need your help to cure our friend, Rachel. 

Rachel/Xena: I AM XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!!! 

Indy: Hmmm, looks like a case of spirit possession. She needs the Medicine Man of B'nai B'rith. 

Tobias: The who? 

Cassie: Who is this Medicine Man? 

Indy: He lives near the temple of B'nai B'rith. Sorta like a ghost buster, come to think of it. But that's like miles away. 

Marco wakes up suddenly (with a very stiff neck). 

Marco: Anything to stop her from breaking my neck again! 

Rachel/Xena: I AM XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!!! 

Indy: Well, kids, since I'm in a hurry and I don't want me neck broken, I'll go with you. 

Will they reach B'nai B'rith safely? Find out in the next episode! (As usual) 

Note: Well, that's it. After thousands of compliments, hate mail and death threats, I have decided to bring the TYSIH series to an end, at least with me as the author. Episodes 4-6 has been written by my partner in crime, Gottaname, so if you have enjoyed this series (which I highly doubt) pop over to his place and check 'em out. 


End file.
